fucked up film: antichrist (2009)

wow what a piece of shit film. i didnt finish it cause it was fucking disgraceful. a couple has sex while their child jumps out of a window. great plot lars von trier you dickhead. read wikipedia about the film if you want to. dont waste your time watching it. its fucking garbage. anyone who calls this "art" is an idiot.

FUCKED UP RATING: 7 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: 1 OUT OF 10

fucked up film: storytelling (2001)

todd solondz. sometimes i wonder what goes through your mind all day long. cause your movies always leave me thinking, "what the fuck did i just watch?". storytelling is a movie in two parts. the first part is called "fiction" that shows a college teenager dating named vi dating a boy named marcus, (telly from kids) who has cerebral palsy. both attend a creative writing class with a black professor mr. scott. mr. scott is the biggest douchebag ever. he makes fun of marcus' story saying it was a "piece of shit". then out of nowhere, vi screws mr. scott and calls him a nigger then she writes a story about it for class.

the second part is called "nonfiction". toby, a loser documentary guy wants to do a film about high school teenagers. his focus, scooby, a pot smoking bisexual teenager who hates his parents and is not willing to go to college. at first toby makes it seem like hes making a respectful documentary about scooby but in the end he makes a mockery out of him and scooby sneaks into the early film screening hearing the audience laugh at him on screen.

there is more into the nonfiction story with scooby's parents but its not really necessary for me to get more into detail. overall i though storytelling was alright but the ending turned me off.

FUCKED UP RATING: 4 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: 5.5 OUT OF 10

fucked up film: the piano teacher (2001)

the piano teacher is a french film about erika, a piano teacher, who has a very low self esteem and is a huge twat. no joke. i had a teacher awhile ago who acts and looks exactly like her. always unhappy and never satisfied with anything. erika seems to have a lot of issues. she cuts herself and sleeps in the same bed as her mom. anyway, a young man named walter is really attracted to erika and wants to get lessons just to win her over. the thing about erika is that she has dark fetishes. she goes to sex shops and watches young kids get it on at drive in theaters. she also wants to be hit by walter while theyre having sex. SPOILER ALERT walter isnt cool with it so at the end he punishes her by raping her. in a way, i think she had it coming for the way she was treating him but michael haneke is a sick fuck who makes you believe into that lie. i wish i could say more but i would have to write 5 parts for this review cause this movie is really fucking good.

FUCKED UP RATING: 8 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: 8 OUT OF 10

fucked up films

fucked up flims is a fake series ill be doing now.
basically, i will be watching films that are fucked up.
ill still rate films as usual but also rating them on scale from 1 to 10 of how fucked up it is.
if anyone has any recommendations for me LET ME KNOW. its going to be fun!!!1

easy rider (1969)

for the longest time i've wanted to check out this film and i finally did and oh man it was a let down. it starts out with peter fonda and dennis hopper doing coke supplied by a bunch of mexicans then the rest of the film is just riding motorcycles, smoking pot, talking about nonsense, going to new orleans with jack nicholson, doing lsd, bitching, getting shot by hicks. whoops i just spoiled the film.

i feel like the ending was so half-assed. peter fonda and dennis hopper are just riding along the highway and these hicks in a truck go "HEH HEH LETS SCARE THEM" so they shoot dennis hopper, peter fonda freaks out and leaves to find help while the hicks come back and shoot his motorcycle and explodes. NOT COOL

i liked the part when they were tripping out on lsd. it had some good cinematography but every movie looked cool in the 60s right?

peter fonda looks just like nick mccarthy from franz ferdinand. just saying..

5.5 OUT OF 10

stalk me

i have a MUBI account.
if you dont know what that is, its a cool movie site unlike IMDB that has idiots all around the place. i rate films on there but this is the place where ill always review.
im gonna watch easy rider soon so the review will be coming in a couple of days

life is sweet (1991)

life is sweet is a really great film by mike leigh. a while ago i did a review on his film naked which ill probably watch again since i was too daft to understand what was going on.

life is sweet is about a middle class family in north london. the parents are exactly like mine. they laugh at everything and always pull their "i know everything about life and you dont" card. the daughters nicola and natalie are really interesting characters. natalie is a plummer whos a bit of a know it all and is fascinated by america. nicola is an arrogant chain smoker who struggles with bulimia.

there is not much of a plot line like most mike leigh films but every character is so realistic and fascinating. i think the purpose of the film is trying to show how life can be fun and exciting but incredibly hard at times. its up to you to make life worthwhile. (i know that was deep)

8 OUT OF 10

total eclipse (1995)

sucks dick. it just made me hate leonardo dicaprio for being an annoying prick. leonardo dicaprio..get a real fucking name. im not even going to summarize this film. go read it on wikipedia if you want to.

1 OUT OF 10

closet land (1991)

this movie was a mind fuck. i just finished watching it and i dont really understand the ending but ill try to make sense of it as i go along with the summary.

it starts off with alan rickman, a goverment interrogator whos trying to get this children book writer to say that her book "closet land" has anarchist messages for children. the book is about a child who is locked in a closet in punishment for bad behavior by her mother. while the child is in the closet, she makes friends with a bunch of animals who comfort her. the interrogator thinks this idea is showing anarchism to naive children. (SPOILER ALERT) which is not the case when we find out she was abused as a child by some man and the closet is a form of escapism. the man turns out to be the interrogator which left me wondering how did she not figure that out by his face or his voice.

the film leaves us questioning if the government should use inhumane and brutal torture to receive confessions from victims. if want to watch a movie that makes you think, check out closet land. the entire movie is up on youtube. if you read youtube comments, you'll notice that most people would enjoy to be tortured by severus snape.

6 OUT OF 10

eli porter

eli porter. ever heard of him? well he is quite an inspiration for many rappers. it all started when appeared on Iron Mic (a freestyle rap program by a bunch of high school students), eli gain many fans after someone uploaded his performance on youtube. sadly he lost against his opponent, envy, but he is the best mayne.



here are some great remixes of eli

deebadat
rare import
teenage love affair (my personal favorite)

eli has a myspace with his new songs

i think i just found the greatest interview ever

Your new album is called My Bloody Underground and is said to be your tribute to The Velvet Underground, My Bloody Valentine and The Jesus And Mary Chain…

Get the fucking Mary Chain out of it. We already had bands before they did. I was listening to the same music that the Reid brothers were in 1984. That’s why I saw them with Bobby Gillespie; their first fucking US show. I don’t understand why you’re thinking My Bloody Valentine either…

>>>>>>>>>

That it’s not like the Sex Pistols who invented punk rock y’know? It’s all just bullshit, youth culture run amok. It’s not like I consider myself a punk rocker; it’s more a case that I’ve been into the best music of all time forever. Since I was two years old I started buying records and now I’m 40 years old. That’s 38 years. It didn’t just happen as part of some neo-shoegaze revivalist bullshit. Before there was Oasis we got offered a deal by Alan McGee in 1992.

>>>>>>>>

I was detuning guitars way before Sonic Youth existed. No seriously, I was deconstructing and detuning guitars in 1978 aged 11 way before Thurston Moore had picked one up and Kevin Shields was learning how to play Cramps records, so you do the math. I was trying to create sounds for my band in my garage then. I wanted to make sounds that no-one else was doing back then. Even the neighbours complained to my mom at the time because of the noise…


READ. IT. NOW.

rob green appreciation post

don't worry rob. we still love you.

wild tigers i have known (2006)

i saw this movie about 3 or 4 years ago when it came out but i felt like watching it again. i didnt really understand it the first time around. the ending left me confused. the movie is about a 13 year old boy named logan who develops a gay relationship with a kid named rodeo. rodeo is like the cool rebellion kid of the school. logan on the other hand is very shy and realizes that is very different from most 13 year old boys. i feel really bad for kids like logan. in a way i think anyone being either straight or gay can relate to him. it sucks being a teenager but the experience will be with us and it defines the way we are now. overall this film is very realistic and its not another stereotypical gay film.

9 OUT OF 10

control (2007)

hello its me again. time for another halfassed movie review!!!!!!111111
today i saw the movie control. its about ian curtis from joy division and im not too sure how to feel about it. first off sam riley did an amazing job as ian and he can sing exactly like him. the rest of the cast...ehhhhh boring. i thought the script was really dull. some of the scenes made me think "ok was that really necessary?". also, it made ian look like a huge dick too and boring as fuck. im sure theres more to the story rather then what was captured in 120 minutes. i think id like to read the biography about him to see what really made him kill himself. would i watch this again? probably not.

5.5 OUT OF 10

douchebag families

today i went out to eat at some semi fancy restaurant and i saw this family (not the palins) sitting together. first off, the dad acted like he was the funniest guy in the world. he was laughing at every joke and all the kids thought he was coolest dad ever. the kids dressed exactly like him.wearing nice polo shirts and khaki pants. you can obviously tell these kids are going to harvard some day because of their cool rich kid look. his wife (i'm not gay keep in mind) was extremely too hot for him. at one point i saw her and her kids "raising the roof". it was kinda disturbing.

later another rich douchebag family came in. at one point one of the sons was kissing his mom on the cheek. TWO TIMES. im guessing he got his loans payed off by his mom for harvard. i dont know about y'all but i would never show affection like that to my parents. i dont suck anyones dick (not the sexual way yknowwhatimean) to be nice. thats not the way to go.