fucked up film: we need to talk about kevin (2011)

i'm usually not the type of person who enjoys hyped-the-fuck-out movies. i remember dragging my dad to see inception with me in theaters and i hated it so much. my dad was like, "WHY DIDN'T YOU LIKE IT?? YOU WANTED TO SEE IT!" and i was like, "well it got really good reviews and all of my friends liked so i thought i would too..". after that i realized how other people's opinions are kinda shit unless you go out and see it for yourself.

we need to talk about kevin has been getting pretty nice reviews which is great. but was it the reason why i wanted to watch it? fuck naw. the first time i watched the trailer my jaw instantly dropped. it's a story about a mother played by tilda swinton who is trying to get her life back together after her son went on a high school killing spree. she feels responsible for her son's actions but personally i felt that kevin was the spawn of satan. the events in the film are shown out of chronologically order which can be slightly confusing at points but it all makes sense towards the end which by the way is breathtaking.

this movie is definitely fucked up too. oh fo fucking sho. one scene shows kevin jacking off and his mom accidentally opens the door and he looks at her all angry and continues on. there's also a few sex scenes featuring dr. steve brule and i'm just going to leave it at that.

FUCKING UP RATING: 8 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: 9 OUT OF 10

fucked up film: requiem for a dream (2000)

i feel like i've been missing out on this movie for a long time so i decided to check it out last night. i've only seen one darren aronofsky film and that was black swan. i kinda knew what to expect from hearing about the ass to ass scene and that fucking song you hear in every cliche dramatic youtube video.

anyway its about four people with addictions which is mostly heroin and then you got an old lady who is into diet pills. most of these characters annoyed the fuck out of me so i honestly didn't feel SHOCKED by their actions. for example, jared leto's character was constantly injecting heroin into the same place in his arm. if you keep doing that, it's going to get infected.

you had it coming dickhead

the only thing that kinda shocked me was the girl who has sex with her therapist to get money from him. then she meets up with a pimp and does a sex show with another girl. that was interesting..

i can't see myself watching this ever again. it makes a good psa for teenagers to not do drugs but its so over dramatic. check out the basketball diaries instead or even better, TRAINSPOTTING.

FUCKED UP RATING: 7 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: 5.5 OUT OF 10

clean, shaven (1993)

clean, shaven is about a schizophrenic man named peter (played by peter greene) who is trying to find his daughter after he is released from a mental institution. he's also being followed by a detective who thinks he killed some girl. this is probably one of the most unforgettable films i've ever watched. peter green's performance is outstanding and i wish he would've done more drama films like this. he's also a major babe..

if you're very sensitive to self-mutilation (yes. there's a few graphic scenes) you may want to stay away from this. BUT, you will be missing out on a great movie.

8.5 OUT OF 10

fucked up film: martha marcy may marlene (2011)

(don't worry yall she wasn't killing anyone in that scene above)
martha marcy may marlene is about a girl named martha who escapes a cult that is kind of manson-esque. she calls her older sister lucy from a payphone and she picks her up and takes martha to her awesome lake house with her hot british boyfriend who supports chelsea fc. martha has been away for two years so she's been under a lot of shit. she keeps having flashbacks about the cult and lucy and her boyfriend ted are always like "what the fuck is wrong with you martha?" constantly. martha never tells them about the cult and makes it seem like she was just in a bad relationship. martha is super paranoid that the cult members are out looking for her. i'm not going to ruin the story for anyone but its a decent movie. there's like two rape scenes or so. that's why i declare it a fucked up film.

a lot of people say oh this is so chilling and nerve wrecking but i didn't feel that way throughout until like the last five minutes. i guess i've just seen too many fucked up films...

FUCKED UP RATING: 6 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: 6.5 OUT OF 10

caché (2005)

cache is about a married couple who get surveillance video tapes and the whole movie they're trying to figure out whose doing it. most of the tapes show their house, the husband's childhood home, and other places. you never find out who is exactly making these tapes but you suspect a bunch of people like their friends, the husband's old "friend", the old "friend"'s son, and even their own son. people say you gotta watch it like a bunch of times to get it but i find that kind of dumb. i don't mind some endings that make you guess what will happen next but that concept seems a little pointless for this movie.

i didn't find myself getting to into it. the characters were a little annoying and it kinda made me want to fall asleep but that's because it was like 4am when i finished watching it. but overall it was a decent film. it's definitely not my favorite michael haneke film but it's still a good watch. if you're not into films that make you guess a lot then this is not for you.

6 OUT OF 10

the basketball diaries (1995)

the basketball diaries tells the true story about jim carroll, who was on a basketball team at a private catholic school. jim enjoys jacking off on rooftops and doing drugs with his friends. he snorts coke before practice and gets down with girls. at first you think, damn jim, you're a pretty cool but he starts doing heroin. *sad face* don't worry, this film has a great ending. possibly one of the best stories about drug addiction. it features a young leonardo dicaprio AND MARKY MARK!!!

7 OUT OF 10

fucked up film: dogtooth (2009)

dogtooth is about a husband and wife who keep their kids imprisoned in their house. they don't know anything about the outside world. the only way they can leave is if they lose a dogtooth. the ending leaves you thinking "really? thats's it?". its kind of depressing really. there's a couple of sex scene w/ incest involved. according to imdb, this movie is a black comedy but i didn't find myself laughing when the younger sister was going down on the older sister.

also the boy in the film looks like sonic boom. so in the first scene, i felt like i was watching sonic boom having sex. :/

FUCKED UP RATING: 8 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: 8 OUT OF 10

fucked up film: possession (1981)

i really don't know where to start on this film. i first thought this movie was about exorcism but it wasn't. it's about a married couple who are going through some problems. first off the wife left the family for no reason. mark, the husband played by dr. alan grant, assumes that she is sleeping with someone else. which is true. he gets really mad and starts hitting her. even though he is pissed, he still has a lot of feelings for her. the movie gets even more strange when he hires a detective to find where she is staying and she ends up killing him. it's all very surreal and strange but it's great.

FUCKED UP RATING: 8 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: 8.5 OUT OF 10

fucked up film: enter the void (2009)

enter the void is the third film by the fucked up director gaspar noe. i don't mean that in a bad way. he's amazing. the last movie he made was irreversible which is by far one of the most fucked up films i've ever seen and again i don't mean that in a bad way. it's one of those movies you need to see once and that's it. enter the void on the other hand, you could watch this over and over if you wanted to.

i don't feel like explaining what the movie was about but it deals with drugs and the afterlife. the film is mostly shot in first person so you feel like you're experiencing what the main character is going through. the reason why i labeled this as fucked up is because there's a lot of sex scenes, crazy drug hallucinations, and a dead fetus.

FUCKED UP RATING: 7 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: 9 OUT OF 10

enron: the smartest guys in the room (2005)

we've heard it all before. big company from houston gets busted for accounting fraud. ruins the lives of 29,000 employees. if you ever find yourself browsing on the wikipedia article of the enron scandal, watch this documentary instead. its kinda long like almost 2 hours long but its worth watching. it's like a horror film really. i watched it on a stormy night and it kinda freaked me out. maybe i'll get nightmares of enron ceos and traders. also, i was almost going to label this a fucked up film but i don't think it lives up to the fucked up film standards (i.e. sex and violence).

7 OUT OF 10

leon: the professional (1994)

pretty good movie. i liked it all the way up till they started playing a sting song at the credits. anyway, the story is about a professional assassin named leon who takes girl care of a young girl named mathilda played by natalie portman. her parents and her siblings were killed by corrupt dea agents. she becomes very close to leon. to the point where its kind of uncomfortable. like to catch a predator uncomfortable. let me make this clear, they don't do anything sexual. they're just very close...but there is still a sense of sexual tension. besides that, i enjoyed it a lot.


6.5 OUT OF 10

the shape of things (2003)

a fun depressing film that will either make you mad or make you cry. for me, it was both but hey it hurts seeing paul rudd getting the heart ripped out of him (not literally).

7 OUT OF 10

welcome to the dollhouse (1995)

i hated middle school. i remember passing time was 3 minutes long and i was always late to class. i got mediocre grades and the teachers were a bunch of twats. anyway, i could kinda relate to this film. its about a girl named dawn weiner who is in seventh grade. kids at school call her dog face or weiner dog and everyone treats her like shit. her parents don't really like her a whole lot plus her sister is a little bitch and her older brother is nerd with a shit band. she develops a crush on the most popular guy in high school who sings and plays guitar for her brothers band. the ending was kinda lame but it was a good film. its from the same director who did happiness which is in my top 20

7 OUT OF 10

fucked up fillm: secretary (2002)

secretary is about a girl named lee (played by maggie gyllenhaal) who is released from a mental hospital. she cuts herself and she has a drunk dad and a overprotective mom. one day lee decides "hey, what the hell? im gonna go get a job!" she gets a job as a (HINT: MOVIE TITLE) for a demanding lawyer named mr. gray (played by james spader). for her job, she does all these lame ass tasks like typing up letters for so and so, setting up mouse traps, jumping in garbage bins, and other dumb shit. the only problem is that lee is shit at her job. mr. gray gets upset whenever he finds typos in her work. he gets so upset that one day, he tells lee to bend over on his desk and he punishes her by slapping her ass a bunch of times. she becomes sexually obsessed with mr. gray and their s&m relationship goes out of control. i loved the hell out of this film. great acting and storyline. i don't think my health teacher would approve of this.

FUCKED UP RATING: 7 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: 7.5 OUT OF 10

the social network (2010)

if it wasn't for film class, i would have never bothered watching this movie. first off, is it necessary to make a movie about facebook? i don't think so but for some people *cough* david fincher *cough* think its important to know how facebook started.

i'm sure we all know the song and dance by now. mark zuckerberg steals an idea from these inbred twins and takes it to a new level with a help from his best friend, eduardo. they basically started facebook so they could get laid. the one thing that bothered me a lot was i did not think zuckerberg was a likable guy. he acted like such a dick. i felt bad for eduardo cause mark screwed him over by not giving him credit. bastard.

now you probably don't know this but the movie is very very inaccurate. check out the 60 minutes story about facebook and the real zuckerberg explains half the shit in the film isn't even true. that's hollywood for you.

5.5 OUT OF 10

fucked up film: dead man's shoes (2004)

dead man's shoes is a film about a guy who returns to his hometown with his mentally challenged brother, anthony. in the past, anthony was brutalized by a bunch of twats so richard is out to seek revenge on them. he starts off doing stupid pranks on them like spray painting their hair. throughout the film, they show flashbacks of what the guys did to anthony. it's kinda depressing. i thought the movie was going to be more violent but there are some messed up shit that happens. overall, it was an ok movie. nothing to jizz over.

FUCKED UP RATING: 6 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: 6 OUT OF 10

fucked up film: black swan (2010)

y'know i'm not really into these "HYPED OUT TO THE MAX" films as much as kids these days but i quite enjoyed black swan. i remember my math teacher telling my class to not see this because its really weird and it'll scare you. well i don't think it was very scary but it had its moments. plus it was pretty weird and SEXY hence why this this labeled fucked up film.

anyway, black swan is a film about a girl named nina played by natalie portman who is this great ballerina that is a bit of a pussy. she wants to be the swan queen for this world class ballet company runned by thomas who was in all of those ocean's 11 films. y'know the french guy. there are a lot of moments in this film you're like uhhh what the fuck is going on here like when thomas tells her "I HAVE HOMEWORK FOR YOU..YOU NEED TO START TOUCHING YOURSELF" so there is a couple scenes of her wanking in bed. it's not like explicit or anything. not pornographic. it's pretty normal but there is a scene where a girl goes down on her.

i can't really say much about the plot since it would ruin it if you reallly want to see it. i only spoil films that are old but SPOILER ALERT she dies at the end WHOOPS

FUCKED UP RATING: 5.7 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: 7 OUT OF 10

keyword searches

fucked in rubbish?

fucked up film: the idiots (1998)

the idiots is a danish film about a group of intelligent people living in a house pretending to be mentally challenged. they go out in public and mess with "normal" people to get a reaction out of them and take advantage of certain situations like making money off of ugly christmas decorations. there is a shit load of nudity in this film and there is even a gang bang scene that is unsimulated. as fucked up as this movie sounds, it was really good. you have to be a bit of an ass to be offended by their actions so i wouldn't recommend it to anyone who doesn't have a sense of humor (ie. people who watch fox news)

FUCKED UP RATING: 9 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: 8.5 OUT OF 10

leaving las vegas (1996)

leaving las vegas is a depressing movie about a man whose alcoholism costs him his job, family, and friends . thriving for sex and drinking, he ventures out to las vegas to drink himself to death. he meets a prostitute named sarah who gives him a blowjob. they relate well to their problems in life so they become good friends until SPOILER ALERT he dies. its a bit slow at parts but the acting is very well done. it seems like everyone who pretends to be drunk in a movie does a shit job but nicolas cage pulled it off well. this movie is definitely not for the faint of heart but i'd recommend it to anyone who is willing to watch someones life on the verge of collapse.

6 OUT OF 10

fucked up film: naked lunch (1991)

naked lunch is about a guy who gets addicted of this substance that he uses to kill bugs. he accidentally kills his wife and gets involved in some secret government shit with giant bugs in africa. its not so much of a disturbing movie. its just weird as fuck. there is a scene where a typewriter turns into a bug and gets really horny. avant garde bullshit yeah?

FUCKED UP RATING: 6 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: 6 OUT OF 10

vampire's kiss (1988)

nicolas cage is a vampire and he wants to fuck you. probably the best performance EVER from him.

sorry i should at least tell you the plot. nicolas cage is your average yuppie from nyc. one night he goes out to some bar and he brings a girl home and she ends up biting him on the neck. he turns into this crazy fuck who believes he is a vampire. i thought it was pretty hilarious and entertaining.

7 OUT OF 10

exit through the gift shop (2010)

exit through a gift shop is a documentary about theirry guetta and his obsession with street art. some people say the docuemtnary is all fake and theirry guetta was created by banksy. that could be the case since theirry has this borat vibe to him. the movie captures a lot of footage of street artists at night spraying painting or wheatpasting. i don't want to spoil the plot but if you're interested in street art you must check out this documentary.

6.5 OUT OF 10