afterschool (2008)

afterschool reminds a lot like elephant. the gus van sant film thats kinda boring at some parts but still interesting as fuck. the story is about a kid named robert who goes to a prep school. he's surrounded by a bunch of douchebags and his roommate is a drug dealer. robert spends majority of his time on his computer watching generic youtube videos and masturbating to porn. he takes up the offer on joining the after school video club. one day, robert is filming some b-roll in the hallways and two girls just stumble in out of nowhere bleeding profusely. one girl drops dead and the other one is struggling to stay alive. i feel like i'm explaining the entire scene so i don't want to spoil what happens next. the way this movie is filmed is fucking unbelievable. the acting is pretty solid too. please check it out though. not for the faint of heart.

7.5 OUT OF 10

pirate radio (2009)

pirate radio is a movie about a bunch of british people and phillip seymour hoffman running a radio station on a boat. nothing very special about it. the british government try to take down the station then the boat sinks but it's ok no one dies at the end.


5 OUT OF 10

oddsac (2010)

a bit artsy for my taste. i liked the music. the visuals were pretty out there. wish there was some acting in it. i wanted to see deakin talk or something. oh well.

6 OUT OF 10

bowling for columbine (2002)

i had to watch this movie for my sociology class and i have to say it was pretty damn good. the fat ass does a great job explaining how gun control in the us is pretty fucking awful. america is a scary place i guess. i think michael moore tried a little hard to prove his point by getting weird hicks to talk about their love for guns. i really hated how he attacks some people like the scene where he goes to the kmart headquarters to talk about bullets. he was being such a dick about it. anyway this was a good documentary. oscar worthy? i guess. i'm gonna move to canada now.

6.5 OUT OF 10

little odessa (1994)

this boring movie is about a jewish family. the jewish dad is a douche, the jewish teen thinks he's a badass, jewish mom has cancer, jewish teen's brother is in the mafia. the brother is a bit of a douche too. i feel really lazy describing the plot of the film but this movie was so boring i don't want to elaborate on it.

4 OUT OF 10

rip!: a remix manifesto (2008)

rip!: a remix manifesto is a documentary about the changing concept of copyright. we all know everyone downloads shit illegally. it's not that big of a deal anymore. i haven't heard of anyone recently getting in trouble for downloading some song off a blog or something. the movie did a good job proving that the system is fucked up. the system that is copyright corporations such as RIAA and the movie one whatever it's called. i LOVED when they showed footage of lars ulrich talking about napster. he was such a little bitch about it.

7 OUT OF 10

i'm still here (2010)

when joaquin phoenix announced that he was going to retire from acting, i was pretty fucking shocked. then again, i think everyone was but i was one of the few who believed that it wasn't a joke. sadly, it was. i'm still here documents his year as an aspiring rapper. there was a lot of moments that you could tell it was a fake. i won't spoil it for everyone. overall, i really enjoyed this film. some moments were kind of disgusting but it made you laugh. you can rent it on itunes for 6 bucks.

6.5 OUT OF 10

woyzeck (1979)

woyzeck is about a soldier named franz woyzeck. he hears voices from the ground and the wind and talks about philosophy and shit. one day, his wife has an affair on him and his inner demons come out. he finds out about the dickhead who nailed her and he ends up SPOILER ALERT stabbing his wife. it was kind of a "meh" movie for me. would i watch it again? probably not.

5.5 OUT OF 10

wild at heart (1990)

wild at heart is a film about two lovers, sailor (nicolas cage) and lula (laura dern). after getting out of prison for manslaughter, sailor ignores his parole and travels to california with lula. lula has a crazy fucking mom that hires a detective and a hitman to track down her daughter and sailor. the rest of the film shows the couple dancing to metal, having sex about every 20 minutes, smoking tons of cigarettes, and meeting weird fuckers. this is the second david lynch film i've seen and i really enjoyed it.

8 OUT OF 10

fucked up film: crash (1996)

first off, this is not the academy award winning crash. this is david cronenberg softcore porn crash. now i'm usually not the kind of person who whines about how some movies have no plots cause i like gummo but this movie was really a waste of time unless you're really into car accidents and sex. the "plot" of this film is james (played by james spader) gets into a car accident and becomes obsessed with this underground culture of sex crazed car crashers. its fucking weird. there is this guy he meets who looks like bonehead from oasis. all he really wants to do is get into a huge crash and die. i guess the movie was trying to show the emptiness of how these idiots feel about risking their lives but is it a necessary movie to watch? not really.

FUCKED UP RATING: 8 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: 4.5 OUT OF 10

made in britain (1982)

made is britain is film about a 16 year old skinhead named trevor. trevor enjoys stealing cars and sniffing glue. he goes to court and ends up in a detention center. his social worker thinks that trevor can reform but trevor doesn't give a fuck so he leaves and does fuck all for the rest of the movie.

6.5 OUT OF 10

my best fiend (1999)

my best fiend is a werner herzog documentary about his friendship with the late great klaus kinski. as a teenager, klaus shared an apartment with werner and in a matter of 2 days he tore up every piece of furniture. he was a self taught actor and a fucking mad man. i loved every minute of this film. klaus was an extraordinary human being. crazy how the two of them only made 5 films together. i highly recommend everyone to check out this documentary.

8 OUT OF 10

fucked up film: cape fear (1991)

cape fear is about a convicted rapist, max cady (played by robert de niro) who is released from prison from a 14 year sentence. he stalks a lawyer (nick nolte) and his family who defended him in court. everything about this movie is fucking brilliant. the acting, the storyline, the music, the cinematography (if you're into that shit like me) is so good. i normally don't get scared by music but i jumped so many times in the intense scenes. one of the scenes that is so fucked up is when max hits on the lawyer's 15 year old daughter. if you love thrillers, like psychological thrills, you will definitely love this movie.

FUCKED UP RATING: 5 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: 7.5 OUT OF 10

ghost world (2001)

ghost world is based off a comic book by daniel crownes. the story is about two outsider girls, enid and rebecca, who just graduated from high school. one day, they find a personal ad from a guy named seymour, who is trying to find a woman he met recently. pretending to be the woman he met, enid calls up his number and has the idea to meet up with him. she finds out that he's incredibly lonely and a bit of a dork. the rest of the film shows enid developing a friendship with seymour. overall it was a great movie. the characters are easy to fall in love with. it reminded me of american beauty.

7 OUT OF 10

fucked up film: trash humpers (2009)

harmony korine is one of my all time favorite directors but this movie was trash. it was a lot of humping of inanimate objects objects and weird moaning. i mean i guess it's a great film to watch if i was stoned but at the moment i'm completely sober and i felt like i just lost 78 minutes out of my life. there were some parts that were very entertaining and funny but most of the time it was very repetitive and exhausting. i'm not a huge fan of films that try to be artistic and shit but this was too much for me. i'd rather watch gummo or julien donkey-boy.

FUCKED UP RATING: 6 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: 3 OUT OF 10

four rooms (1995)

four rooms is an anthology film consisted of four stories by four different directors. its set in a hotel on new years eve and tim roth is the main character as the bell boy. he is fucking hilarious. he's like a modern day jerry lewis. the first three stories are really good but the last one is really dull. surprisingly, quentin tarantino directed the last one. it wasn't even funny. quentin is such a weird actor. he tries so hard to be a bad ass it's embarrassing. overall this film was pretty funny and entertaining. its a hit or a miss film.

6.5 OUT OF 10

raging bull (1980)

so today i watched raging bull on hbo on demand. i thought this was going to be an EPIC boxing film but i wasn't that satisfied. robert de niro is fucking cool though without a doubt but i'd rather watch sly kicking apollo creed's ass in rocky 2. no disrepect towards martin scorsese.
i still love him but rocky >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> raging bull.

6 OUT OF 10

greetings (1968)

greetings has no plot. none at all. it just shows 3 guys. one is shown investigating the kennedy assassination. another one is trying to get laid and the third one is a peep artist. basically he's like marty's dad from back to the future, a peeping tom. it was a really weird film. very arty. something andy warhol would make. it was one of the first films robert de niro was in. i wouldn't recommend anyone to watch this film if they're not into random as fuck plots. also the soundtrack was fucking awful. god you would think they would pick better 60s music since this was made in 1968.



5.5 OUT OF 10

(500) days of summer (2009)

when i first heard about this movie i had no intention of ever seeing it. i thought it was going to be another garden state hipster film yknowwhatimean. i ended up watching it yesterday on hbo and i thought it was a well written, down to earth film. it's not an ordinary romantic comedy movie. the plot is basically summed in the title. the thing i like about it is how it tells a story of a failed relationship. i really don't want to say what happens in the film but if you really want to know what happens SPOILER ALERT summer is a cunt.


7 OUT OF 10

back to school

IT'S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN...
sorry i won't be posting as much as i used to. i've got a life now. at least i think so...
i noticed i've been losing some readers but that's ok..

I AM WATCHING YOU

choke (2008)

choke is a movie that tells you its ok to be a sex addict when in reality, you need to get some help. don't even try to give in this film because it based off a book by the guy who did fight club. bland storyline, mediocre acting, and a pretentious soundtrack. that is everything i do not like in a flim.

2.5 OUT OF 10

drag me to hell (2009)

once is a great while, there is a decent horror film that comes out. i'm sick of these remakes and annoying series that never seem to end (ex. SAW). drag me to hell is a good original horror film with a simple plot. christine is a loan officer with a cool boyfriend named clay. life is going pretty chill when an old lady comes in asking about an extension on her home loan. she could either give the old lady a break or impress her boss and kick her out. she ends up telling her she cannot help her out. christine is thinking oh yea im hot shit no one can touch me when suddenly the old lady comes out of nowhere and places a curse on christine. she had it coming. the rest of the movie deals with her life turning into a living nightmare. its a very interesting movie but i think sam riami could have done better. oh well.

6 OUT OF 10

this is england (2006)

this is england is a film about a 12 year old named shaun, who has a hard time fitting in at school and is always picked on. he meets a group of non-racist skinheads who let him hang out and join the group. they shave his head and give him some cool clothes to wear. things being to change when combo, a racist skinhead, joins the group again after being let out from prison. combo has ideas to change the group to be racist and shit and most of the guys are not diggin it. shaun likes his ideas so he joins him and they go to a white nationalist meeting. the rest of the film shows shaun's life with combo and the consequences that comes with it. i thought this film was brilliant. the storyline and the acting is very realistic.

8 OUT OF 10

a history of violence (2005)

a history of violence is a film that is not about a history of violence. the title may seem like you're going to a watch a documentary about violence but its not. WAY TO GO DAVID CRONENBERG.

tom stall (viggo mortenson) works at a diner and one day these two guys walk in wanting to kill him but tom is like ok fuck you and out of nowhere tom kicks one of the guys, gets his gun, and shoots both of them. one guy gets shot in the face. its very intense. tom becomes a local hero in his town and his kids and his wife are totally stoked about it.

one day, a mobster guy walks in claiming that tom's name is joey cusack. i laughed at the thought he was john cusack's brother. so tom is like yeah ok fuck you get out of my diner so they leave. the mobsters keep stalking his family a lot but eventually they have this showdown at tom's place and tom and his son kill them. it was pretty cool. SPOILER ALERT tom tells his wife that he was a killer back in the day and his real name is joey. she gets upset and they get in a fight then they start having rough sex on the stairs. it was kinda weird. it was very unexpected. the rest of the film shows joey kicking more ass with some mobsters from his past.

overall the film was decent. the first 10 minutes tom is going down on his wife. that was weird too. with a quick google search you can find that scene.
6.5 OUT OF 10

disco pigs (2001)

disco pigs is about a pig and runt (its not their real names) who were born on the same day have this weird connection with each other. they constantly do the same things like steal liquor and fuck around with people at school. before their 17th birthday, pig starts to be all sexually frustrated and he just wants to fuck runt. runt doesn't like it at all so she leaves him. pig starts freaking out so he goes out of his way trying to find runt to celebrate their birthday. most of the movie deals with their relationship and how they cannot separate from each other. its a very interesting film. if you ever watch this movie, make sure you have the subtitles on. the irish dialogue is sort of hard to follow.

7 OUT OF 10

fucked up film: straw dogs (1971)

the only film that makes dustin hoffman a huge pussy and a badass motherfucker is straw dogs. straw dogs is about a mathematician named david (dustin hoffman)and his english wife amy move into a nice village to seek a new life. they hire construction workers to work on the garage and they're huge assholes to david. they ask david if he wants to go hunting for quail (i think it was quail) so he agrees to go. meanwhile, his wife amy is getting raped by one of the guys who helps on the garage then another guy comes in and rapes her too. i think the director was trying to make the greatest rape scene of all time. amy doesnt tell david about what happened. she clearly cannot get over it.

at one point of the film, some guy named henry, touches some lady, then david hits henry with his car. now henry is at david's place and everyone wants to kill henry by getting in david's house. SPOILER ALERT so the rest of the film shows david killing every local that tries to get into his house. its very intense.

overall straw dogs was pretty good. it can be boring at some points but it really builds up towards the end.

FUCKED UP RATING: 6.5 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: 7 OUT OF 10


there is a remake coming out in 2011. please don't see it. i looked on imdb and its coming out on september 11th. that is not cool.

synecdoche, new york (2008)

this movie sucked dick. philip seymour hoffman's dick. who has the attention span to watch a depressed fat ass waddle around talking about theater and art? NOT ME.

2 OUT OF 10

28 days later (2002)

28 days later starts off in a top secret british lab that has monkeys stored. they have a virus called "rage". a bunch of dumbass animal activists release them and they get infected. 28 days later, the disease spreads in london. a man named jim, played by cillian murphy, wakes up in a coma and is confused as fuck of what is going on. london is completely empty. he ends up finding a black girl and some white guy who save him from an infected. the infected are zombies in case if you were wondering..but they're different then most zombies. they are fast as fuck. anyway jim and the black girl (the white guy dies just to let you know) find a family (a daughter and a father) chillen in their apartment. the rest of the movie shows them trying to stay alive. they end up going to manchester where soliders "try" to help them.

i'm not going to say what happens next but its a good fucking film. it will creep you out.

8 OUT OF 10

you don't know jack (2010)

you don't know jack is an hbo movie about dr. jack kevorkian. oh jack, what a cool old fella. if you don't know him he was famous for assisting suicides for patients that were willing to die because they were in so much pain and they were just a waste of space. is that mean? i think i went to far on that one. anyway jack was played by al pacino and he was great as usual. most of the movie shows him on trial for what he did. apparently he assisted 130 patients. it was a pretty sad movie cause there was some people you just felt bad for. this one guy could barely move a muscle and it took him ages to talk in a sentence. overall this movie was pretty interesting. if you have hbo, check it out.

6 OUT OF 10

reservoir dogs (1992)

reservoir dogs is one of the coolest films i've ever seen. it starts out with a bunch of guys in suits at a restaurant arguing over the song "like a virgin". then they yell at steve buscemi for not giving a tip to the waitress. he says that they don't deserve one or some shit like that. what an ass. sadly there are many people out there who don't tip. the rest of the movie shows the guys after a heist that went wrong. they just panic about who set them up. it is a very interesting film with great acting. SPOILER ALERT i was very upset when tim roth died. he is a cool motherfucker. i'm glad everyone else died. oh and mr. pink stays alive. that was nice.

the picture up from top is a scene when tim roth talks to himself in front of the mirror and says, “don’t pussy out on me now. they don’t know. they don’t know shit. you’re not gonna get hurt. you’re fucking barretta. they believe every fucking word cause you’re super cool.”

8 OUT OF 10

rapture (1980)

rapture starts off with a guy named, jose, a film maker and a heroin addict who seems pretty lost with his life. he gets a package from a guy named pedro that contains key, a reel of super8 film, and an audio cassette. jose sits down and listens to the tape and it retells the story when pedro and jose first met. pedro is obsessed with film. it keeps him from sleeping, eating, and having sex for a long time. the only thing that keeps him going is heroin. when he watches his own films, he has "raptures" that makes him cry and freak out. him and jose sort of become bffs in a way. most of the film it shows pedros life as he realizes when he sleeps, the camera films him. when he developes the film, it shows his raptures. it also makes people disappear. i know its pretty fucking weird. i could go on explaining the rest of the film but i would bore myself and others.

look its pedro and jose bonding with silly putty

overall this film was very interesting. rapture is both an experimental film and a horror if you could say. its like that book naked lunch. you never know what the fuck is going on.

6.5 OUT OF 10

hot fuzz (2007)

this movie was good because it is exactly like shaun of the dead but nothing like it at all. only the fat guy plays the same ... fat guy, the skinny pathetic guy with a sense of responsibility plays a badass overdetermined cop. he did a very good job with the two roles i was very impressed. the fat guy sucked. anyway this movie drew on bad boys 2 and point blank rather heavily which is funny considering it is a british police dramedy. (comedy+drama get it?) at least, it starts out british and then turns really american near the end with all the shooting, police chases, death, etc. theres a lot of gore (including old ladies getting kicked in the face). makes it real cool

RATING: 8 OUT OF 10

glue (2006)

glue was a mess. no pun intended. whoever directed this tried way too fucking hard to be like harmony korine w/ grainy effects and somewhat of a cool soundtrack. a lot of violent femmes songs. the only movie that deserves to have violent femmes songs is rocket science. check that one out its pretty funny. anyway the main character was really unlikeable. im getting sick of these plots where a teenager is having a hard time to get laid. might as well get michael cera to star in it. also the dialogue was boring. i don't recommend anyone to watch this "film". i used quotations around film to show it does not deserve to be called a film.

2 OUT OF 10

nosferatu: phantom of the night (1979)

this is the first werner herzog film i have ever watched and it won't be my last. nosferatu is a wonderful and beautiful film that tells the story of guy named jonathan, an estate agent, who is told to go to dracula's castle out in transylvania cause he wants to buy property in vismar. it takes jon like 4 weeks to get there so hes pretty fucking hungry when he gets to dracula's place. dracula watches him eat his food and he starts breathing heavily. it kinda creeped me out. reminds me when i was in study hall and a creepy substitute was staring at me when i was doing homework. anyway, dracula sucked him off (not that way) and jon gets all weird and paranoid and wants to leave the castle. but dracula leaves to go find jon's wife lucy.

lucy is very scared for jon jons health. she believes that something terrible will happen and she was right. dracula wants to suck her neck and she wont do it. only for her man. typical. meanwhile jon jon is getting sick and pale. SPOILER ALERT one night, dracula sucks lucys neck till dawn and he freaks out in the daylight. then van helsing comes out of nowhere and kills him. jon jon turns into dracula because he has no one to love.

this movie really touched my heart. i always thought dracula was some crazy guy who loves blood but he just wants some love from a pretty girl with a nice neck.

7.5 OUT OF 10

quadrophenia (1979)

when i was younger, i thought the mod scene was like the coolest thing ever. everyone in england drove scooters, wore cool clothes, and listened to the who. this movie tried so hard to capture the scene but failed due to a pointless storyline and mediocre acting. i guess the message of the film was the scene was pointless? i'm not sure. the main guy tried too hard to be a mod. i was bored within the first 20 minutes of the film and THOUGHT (THANKS TO THE ASSHOLE WHO CORRECTED MY GRAMMAR MISTAKE) about leaving the house... the only way anyone will enjoy this film if they love anything related to the who and are obsessed with the 60s.

5 OUT OF 10

fucked up film: bully (2001)

most films nowadays never leave me in shock. this one did it for me. larry clark's bully tells the story of a group of drugged up sex crazed friends planning to kill their "friend" bobby kent. marty, bobby's close friend, comes up with the idea to take revenge on what bobby did to his girlfriend lisa. bobby raped lisa and got her pregnant. to get to the point, marty and his friends hire a hitman to help out with their revenge. before the killing, they're contemplating the aftermath of it. but after their deed is done, they're terrified of their future.

even though bobby is shown as an enemy of the film, his death was not revenge. it was pure jealousy. most of the friends don't give a fuck about school and life. they just enjoy having sex, driving fast cars, and doing drugs. bobby on the other hand, he's ready for college. the friends don't have what bobby has. the misconception of this film is that its unrealistic. i don't think it is at all. i know kids who act like this. these kids are not white trash. their parents are wealthy.

overall, this film was fucking brilliant. it would be lazy for me to say its like clark's first film kids. kids was a very shocking film but bully hit me more emotionally only because it is a true story.

FUCKED UP RATING: 9 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: 8 OUT OF 10

american history x (1998)

whos idea was it to cast edward norton as a tough ass neo nazi? he is so cute and nice it just becomes ridiculously gay when he acts tough. he does a good job, i guess, as a good a job as a nancy like him could do. edward furlong was brilliant though. good movie, too much talk though, and the message was heeped on for half the movie. the prison section was brilliantly done and actually felt like a sabbatical or a flashback rather than just part of the story. stood out on its own and all that. still, nortons a pussy.

7 OUT OF 10

fucked up film (kinda): elephant (1989)

this isnt any of that pussy ass pseudo columbine school shooting BULLSHIT MOTHERFUCKER. THIS IS ABOUT THE IRA. THIS IS ABOUT IRELAND. GEORGE BEST PROBABLY HEARD OF THIS FROM SOME ASSHOLE AND WENT BACK TO BANGING BROADS AND PLAYING FOOTBALL AFTER DISREGARDING HIS NATIONALIST BULLSHIT.

all this is is alan clarke filming, dick in hand, like 500 random murders. i think theres like 2 seconds of dialogue the entire film and everyone is dressed like the smiths. that was the most interesting part. oh, and in one scene, some guys are playing football and then a guy pulls out a gun after making a pass and shoots one of the other guys. thats what i want to do everytime someone misses my pass in xbox. (FUCK YOU CHELSEA, I FUCKING HATE YOU ASSHOLES FOR BEATING MY BEAUTIFUL CELTIC)

this isnt really a fucked up film, it started out that way but it was so boring the death for no reason (a comment on the senseless IRA killings. NICE JOB AT BEING INDIE-ABSTRACT ALAN CLARKE, YOU ASSHOLE) shit didn't seem so disturbing anymore. alan clarke is lucky he made cool skinhead films.

<3 CELTIC FC 4 LIFE <3

FUCKED UP RATING: 1 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: .5 OUT OF 10

fucked up film: oldboy (2003)

everyone on the internet has heard of this movie by now cause of that whatever-cho guy that shot up virginia tech. people said he watched this and it spurred him to do bad things but i really don't see how that works out, plus they did some research into it (aka they snooped around his computer) and said theres no proof he saw it. i got this off wikipedia so who knows if its true eh??????? in fact, one could say i read it on the internet

anyway its about some guy who gets imprisoned for 15 years cause he "talks too much" and then does a bunch of research and finds out who killed him and bangs this INSANLY ADORABLE korean broad in the meantime. theres a scene where a guy gets all his teeth pulled out with the back end of a hammer, but he gets some SICK gold fronts put in so i guess it all works out in the end??????

oh yea and the guy eats a raw, living octupus and conks out. pussy ass BITCH

FUCKED UP RATING: 8 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: 8 OUT OF 10

inception (2010)

i dont know where to start about this film. first off, it was good. not amazing. my opinion is incredibly biased just because i cannot stand leonardo and ellen page. fucking hell why would you get those two in one film? the story is far too complex for me to write out but if you see it, you really have to pay attention to what is going on. i feel like christopher nolan is turning into david fincher. hes making big budget films with overrated actors. im getting sick of that. they really don't do anything for me.

5 OUT OF 10

shaun of the dead (2004)

it was ok. not great. the thing with comedies, i don't really know how to say if its funny or not. we all have a different taste in humor. most american's laugh at slapstick but the british love their dry humor. shaun of the dead was a mix of the two but i didn't really laugh out loud at most of the jokes. would i ever watch the movie again? of course. it amused me. the storyline could have been better. the town is infested with zombies and shaun's idea is to just go to the pub. its the most stereotypical thing a british man would do.

6.5 OUT OF 10

wonder showzen

(CLICK PHOTO TO VIEW THE VIDEO)

fuck the hills. fuck jersey shore. fuck teen mom. wonder showzen was the best mtv show ever created. technically its an MTV2 show but holy fuck why did they have to cancel it?

deep end (1970)

deep end is about a 15 year old named mike who gets a job at bath house. he falls in love with a girl who trains him, named susan. she is a WHORE. she has a fiance, whos a dick, and she cheats on him with a swim coach, whos another dick. she basically loves dicks. no pun intended. mike becomes very obsessed with her and hes willing to do anything to stop her whore-ness. i think its a good film that shows the frustrations of being a teenager. if yknowwhatimean.

7.5 OUT OF 10

blow up (1966)

movies about photographers are not exciting. NOT AT ALL. THERE WAS NOTHING INTERESTING ABOUT THIS MOVIE. CAPS LOCK.

2.5 OUT OF 10

scott walker: 30 century man (2006)

30 century man is a documentary where everyone sucks scott walker's dick. a review in pictures...

scott: "sorry i dont give a fuck about money. im an artist. i want people to get on their knees when i sing."

scott cont: "i'm a pretty boy can't you see? that girl behind me, wants my dick. like everyone else does."

damon albarn: "oh yes i love scott walker. i would fuck his voice if i could. this song makes me want to write an album about a plastic beach. thanks for the inspiration scott."

scott cont: "yeah so what scott 4 didn't hit the charts. stop fucking asking me for scott 5. ill continue to make avant garde records for indie kids."
jarvis cocker: "yeah scott walker is what i listened to when i was sick in bed. my input is too boring for this movie. time for a cigarette and no im not going to reform pulp."

radiohead: "as you noticed thom is not here thank fucking god for that. he never shuts the fuck up about scott walker. don't mind us we're just going to pretend we're listening to his record."

johnny marr: "as you may know im the cool one out of this documentary. all these indie 90s britpop guys dont know shit. im the real deal. first off, scott's voice makes me want to suck his dick. and i know you were going to ask. the smiths will never reform. my time here is done i need to catch the bus to the cribs band practice."

6 OUT OF 10