fucked up film (kinda): elephant (1989)

this isnt any of that pussy ass pseudo columbine school shooting BULLSHIT MOTHERFUCKER. THIS IS ABOUT THE IRA. THIS IS ABOUT IRELAND. GEORGE BEST PROBABLY HEARD OF THIS FROM SOME ASSHOLE AND WENT BACK TO BANGING BROADS AND PLAYING FOOTBALL AFTER DISREGARDING HIS NATIONALIST BULLSHIT.

all this is is alan clarke filming, dick in hand, like 500 random murders. i think theres like 2 seconds of dialogue the entire film and everyone is dressed like the smiths. that was the most interesting part. oh, and in one scene, some guys are playing football and then a guy pulls out a gun after making a pass and shoots one of the other guys. thats what i want to do everytime someone misses my pass in xbox. (FUCK YOU CHELSEA, I FUCKING HATE YOU ASSHOLES FOR BEATING MY BEAUTIFUL CELTIC)

this isnt really a fucked up film, it started out that way but it was so boring the death for no reason (a comment on the senseless IRA killings. NICE JOB AT BEING INDIE-ABSTRACT ALAN CLARKE, YOU ASSHOLE) shit didn't seem so disturbing anymore. alan clarke is lucky he made cool skinhead films.

<3 CELTIC FC 4 LIFE <3

FUCKED UP RATING: 1 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: .5 OUT OF 10

fucked up film: oldboy (2003)

everyone on the internet has heard of this movie by now cause of that whatever-cho guy that shot up virginia tech. people said he watched this and it spurred him to do bad things but i really don't see how that works out, plus they did some research into it (aka they snooped around his computer) and said theres no proof he saw it. i got this off wikipedia so who knows if its true eh??????? in fact, one could say i read it on the internet

anyway its about some guy who gets imprisoned for 15 years cause he "talks too much" and then does a bunch of research and finds out who killed him and bangs this INSANLY ADORABLE korean broad in the meantime. theres a scene where a guy gets all his teeth pulled out with the back end of a hammer, but he gets some SICK gold fronts put in so i guess it all works out in the end??????

oh yea and the guy eats a raw, living octupus and conks out. pussy ass BITCH

FUCKED UP RATING: 8 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: 8 OUT OF 10

inception (2010)

i dont know where to start about this film. first off, it was good. not amazing. my opinion is incredibly biased just because i cannot stand leonardo and ellen page. fucking hell why would you get those two in one film? the story is far too complex for me to write out but if you see it, you really have to pay attention to what is going on. i feel like christopher nolan is turning into david fincher. hes making big budget films with overrated actors. im getting sick of that. they really don't do anything for me.

5 OUT OF 10

shaun of the dead (2004)

it was ok. not great. the thing with comedies, i don't really know how to say if its funny or not. we all have a different taste in humor. most american's laugh at slapstick but the british love their dry humor. shaun of the dead was a mix of the two but i didn't really laugh out loud at most of the jokes. would i ever watch the movie again? of course. it amused me. the storyline could have been better. the town is infested with zombies and shaun's idea is to just go to the pub. its the most stereotypical thing a british man would do.

6.5 OUT OF 10

wonder showzen

(CLICK PHOTO TO VIEW THE VIDEO)

fuck the hills. fuck jersey shore. fuck teen mom. wonder showzen was the best mtv show ever created. technically its an MTV2 show but holy fuck why did they have to cancel it?

deep end (1970)

deep end is about a 15 year old named mike who gets a job at bath house. he falls in love with a girl who trains him, named susan. she is a WHORE. she has a fiance, whos a dick, and she cheats on him with a swim coach, whos another dick. she basically loves dicks. no pun intended. mike becomes very obsessed with her and hes willing to do anything to stop her whore-ness. i think its a good film that shows the frustrations of being a teenager. if yknowwhatimean.

7.5 OUT OF 10

blow up (1966)

movies about photographers are not exciting. NOT AT ALL. THERE WAS NOTHING INTERESTING ABOUT THIS MOVIE. CAPS LOCK.

2.5 OUT OF 10