hot fuzz (2007)

this movie was good because it is exactly like shaun of the dead but nothing like it at all. only the fat guy plays the same ... fat guy, the skinny pathetic guy with a sense of responsibility plays a badass overdetermined cop. he did a very good job with the two roles i was very impressed. the fat guy sucked. anyway this movie drew on bad boys 2 and point blank rather heavily which is funny considering it is a british police dramedy. (comedy+drama get it?) at least, it starts out british and then turns really american near the end with all the shooting, police chases, death, etc. theres a lot of gore (including old ladies getting kicked in the face). makes it real cool

RATING: 8 OUT OF 10

glue (2006)

glue was a mess. no pun intended. whoever directed this tried way too fucking hard to be like harmony korine w/ grainy effects and somewhat of a cool soundtrack. a lot of violent femmes songs. the only movie that deserves to have violent femmes songs is rocket science. check that one out its pretty funny. anyway the main character was really unlikeable. im getting sick of these plots where a teenager is having a hard time to get laid. might as well get michael cera to star in it. also the dialogue was boring. i don't recommend anyone to watch this "film". i used quotations around film to show it does not deserve to be called a film.

2 OUT OF 10

nosferatu: phantom of the night (1979)

this is the first werner herzog film i have ever watched and it won't be my last. nosferatu is a wonderful and beautiful film that tells the story of guy named jonathan, an estate agent, who is told to go to dracula's castle out in transylvania cause he wants to buy property in vismar. it takes jon like 4 weeks to get there so hes pretty fucking hungry when he gets to dracula's place. dracula watches him eat his food and he starts breathing heavily. it kinda creeped me out. reminds me when i was in study hall and a creepy substitute was staring at me when i was doing homework. anyway, dracula sucked him off (not that way) and jon gets all weird and paranoid and wants to leave the castle. but dracula leaves to go find jon's wife lucy.

lucy is very scared for jon jons health. she believes that something terrible will happen and she was right. dracula wants to suck her neck and she wont do it. only for her man. typical. meanwhile jon jon is getting sick and pale. SPOILER ALERT one night, dracula sucks lucys neck till dawn and he freaks out in the daylight. then van helsing comes out of nowhere and kills him. jon jon turns into dracula because he has no one to love.

this movie really touched my heart. i always thought dracula was some crazy guy who loves blood but he just wants some love from a pretty girl with a nice neck.

7.5 OUT OF 10

quadrophenia (1979)

when i was younger, i thought the mod scene was like the coolest thing ever. everyone in england drove scooters, wore cool clothes, and listened to the who. this movie tried so hard to capture the scene but failed due to a pointless storyline and mediocre acting. i guess the message of the film was the scene was pointless? i'm not sure. the main guy tried too hard to be a mod. i was bored within the first 20 minutes of the film and THOUGHT (THANKS TO THE ASSHOLE WHO CORRECTED MY GRAMMAR MISTAKE) about leaving the house... the only way anyone will enjoy this film if they love anything related to the who and are obsessed with the 60s.

5 OUT OF 10

fucked up film: bully (2001)

most films nowadays never leave me in shock. this one did it for me. larry clark's bully tells the story of a group of drugged up sex crazed friends planning to kill their "friend" bobby kent. marty, bobby's close friend, comes up with the idea to take revenge on what bobby did to his girlfriend lisa. bobby raped lisa and got her pregnant. to get to the point, marty and his friends hire a hitman to help out with their revenge. before the killing, they're contemplating the aftermath of it. but after their deed is done, they're terrified of their future.

even though bobby is shown as an enemy of the film, his death was not revenge. it was pure jealousy. most of the friends don't give a fuck about school and life. they just enjoy having sex, driving fast cars, and doing drugs. bobby on the other hand, he's ready for college. the friends don't have what bobby has. the misconception of this film is that its unrealistic. i don't think it is at all. i know kids who act like this. these kids are not white trash. their parents are wealthy.

overall, this film was fucking brilliant. it would be lazy for me to say its like clark's first film kids. kids was a very shocking film but bully hit me more emotionally only because it is a true story.

FUCKED UP RATING: 9 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: 8 OUT OF 10

american history x (1998)

whos idea was it to cast edward norton as a tough ass neo nazi? he is so cute and nice it just becomes ridiculously gay when he acts tough. he does a good job, i guess, as a good a job as a nancy like him could do. edward furlong was brilliant though. good movie, too much talk though, and the message was heeped on for half the movie. the prison section was brilliantly done and actually felt like a sabbatical or a flashback rather than just part of the story. stood out on its own and all that. still, nortons a pussy.

7 OUT OF 10

fucked up film (kinda): elephant (1989)

this isnt any of that pussy ass pseudo columbine school shooting BULLSHIT MOTHERFUCKER. THIS IS ABOUT THE IRA. THIS IS ABOUT IRELAND. GEORGE BEST PROBABLY HEARD OF THIS FROM SOME ASSHOLE AND WENT BACK TO BANGING BROADS AND PLAYING FOOTBALL AFTER DISREGARDING HIS NATIONALIST BULLSHIT.

all this is is alan clarke filming, dick in hand, like 500 random murders. i think theres like 2 seconds of dialogue the entire film and everyone is dressed like the smiths. that was the most interesting part. oh, and in one scene, some guys are playing football and then a guy pulls out a gun after making a pass and shoots one of the other guys. thats what i want to do everytime someone misses my pass in xbox. (FUCK YOU CHELSEA, I FUCKING HATE YOU ASSHOLES FOR BEATING MY BEAUTIFUL CELTIC)

this isnt really a fucked up film, it started out that way but it was so boring the death for no reason (a comment on the senseless IRA killings. NICE JOB AT BEING INDIE-ABSTRACT ALAN CLARKE, YOU ASSHOLE) shit didn't seem so disturbing anymore. alan clarke is lucky he made cool skinhead films.

<3 CELTIC FC 4 LIFE <3

FUCKED UP RATING: 1 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: .5 OUT OF 10