fucked up film: l.i.e. (2001)

l.i.e. is about a kid named howie played by paul dano who hangs around with kids that break into houses and steal stuff. howie's best friend is a boy named gary. howie is a bit sexually confused and he develops a crush on gary. one night, gary and howie break into the house of big john during his birthday party and steal his prized hand guns. john attacks howie and tears off a piece of howie's jeans. howie later discovers that gary is a hustler and he is one of john's clients. plus john is a huge pedophile. like REALLY huge. throughout the film, howie begins a nonsexual relationship with john and becomes a fatherly figure for howie. the whole film is pretty fucking sad and you feel really bad for howie and john. especially john, for me at least. i think we tend to label pedophiles as some sort of monsters as if that's politically correct. they're human beings. not that i'm saying it's ok to do that shit. anyway i really liked this. the story line fell a little flat in the end but the characters felt so real. another great movie that deals with this subject is the woodsman which is like the most honest and heart breaking movie i've seen in ages.

FUCKED UP RATING: 8 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: 7 OUT OF 10

the passion of darkly noon (1995)

the passion of darkly noon is about a guy named darkly noon played by brendan fraser (don't laugh) who is found wandering in the forest and is saved by a guy named jude. jude drives him to his friend callie who takes on the offer to let him stay at her place. as darkly recovers the next day, callie begins to question where he came from. darkly explains that his parents were in a christian cult and the whole town turned against his family and his parents were killed. throughout the movie, darkly becomes increasingly attracted to callie but she is dating a mute boyfriend named clay played by viggo mortensen. darkly cannot stand to watch clay and callie getting sexed up all the time and it pisses off darkly so much that he ends up going nuts at the end. there's way more to the story but it's really fucking good. brendan fraser performance is really great and i think he gets a bad rep for all of the mediocre movies he's done. i was this close of labeling this as a fucked up film because someone said this movie was pretty erotic. callie's character sort of had this softcore vibe to her that you see in darkly's perspective. plus there was one scene where darkly jerks off to her so no fucked up label on this one.

6.5 OUT OF 10

submarine (2010)

submarine is about a boy named oliver tate who is a bit of a dork and socially alienated. he falls in love with a girl named jordana. to win her over, he teases an overweight girl to impress jordana cause she's a bit of a cunt. they end up becoming a couple while oliver's parents are having relationship problems. his mom's ex boyfriend graham moves next door who's into weird new age shit. oliver keeps an eye on graham to see if he will make a move on his mom. it's pretty much a coming of age movie. i really enjoyed it. the soundtrack is incredible as well thanks to alex turner.

7 OUT OF 10

jane eyre (2011)

apparently there's been like 373598475 versions of jane eyre and i'm quite surprised because it's kind of a boring story. this is going to be my laziest review ever so here it goes. it's about a girl who gets shipped off to boarding school because her aunt is a bitch. the all girl boarding school is run by these dickheads who punish her for dumb stuff. she eventually gets out of there and starts working as a governess at this place run by the lady from james bond and mr. rochester who is played by michael fassbender (i only watched this movie because of him hehaheheahehe)

mr. rochester is kind of an ass but he starts coming on to her and they fall in love. jane finds out that he is married to some crazy lady who lives in an asylum. blahb lahblah a bunch of shit happens to her like she gets all this money from her dead uncle and mr. rochester is still in love with her so they live happily together amen.

5 OUT OF 10

the tree of life (2011)

for a while, i was very skeptical about watching this movie. i thought it would be some avant garde shit and we'd be staring at a tree for like 2 hours. but thank god it wasn't. i don't even know how to explain this movie but basically it's about the origins and the meaning of life. it focuses on the memories of a family living in the 50s. the family features some broad, brad pitt, and his non-adopted children (good for him). he's a major dick to his kids especially to his son jack. in the present day, jack seems to be a bit depressed. he sees a tree being planting outside of his workplace which reminds him of his past.

it's an experimental movie with a nonlinear storyline. it can be a little hard to focus at times but it's definitely a film to experience at least once. i could see myself watching it a few more times in the future.

7.5 OUT OF 10

fucked up film: we need to talk about kevin (2011)

i'm usually not the type of person who enjoys hyped-the-fuck-out movies. i remember dragging my dad to see inception with me in theaters and i hated it so much. my dad was like, "WHY DIDN'T YOU LIKE IT?? YOU WANTED TO SEE IT!" and i was like, "well it got really good reviews and all of my friends liked so i thought i would too..". after that i realized how other people's opinions are kinda shit unless you go out and see it for yourself.

we need to talk about kevin has been getting pretty nice reviews which is great. but was it the reason why i wanted to watch it? fuck naw. the first time i watched the trailer my jaw instantly dropped. it's a story about a mother played by tilda swinton who is trying to get her life back together after her son went on a high school killing spree. she feels responsible for her son's actions but personally i felt that kevin was the spawn of satan. the events in the film are shown out of chronologically order which can be slightly confusing at points but it all makes sense towards the end which by the way is breathtaking.

this movie is definitely fucked up too. oh fo fucking sho. one scene shows kevin jacking off and his mom accidentally opens the door and he looks at her all angry and continues on. there's also a few sex scenes featuring dr. steve brule and i'm just going to leave it at that.

FUCKING UP RATING: 8 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: 9 OUT OF 10

fucked up film: requiem for a dream (2000)

i feel like i've been missing out on this movie for a long time so i decided to check it out last night. i've only seen one darren aronofsky film and that was black swan. i kinda knew what to expect from hearing about the ass to ass scene and that fucking song you hear in every cliche dramatic youtube video.

anyway its about four people with addictions which is mostly heroin and then you got an old lady who is into diet pills. most of these characters annoyed the fuck out of me so i honestly didn't feel SHOCKED by their actions. for example, jared leto's character was constantly injecting heroin into the same place in his arm. if you keep doing that, it's going to get infected.

you had it coming dickhead

the only thing that kinda shocked me was the girl who has sex with her therapist to get money from him. then she meets up with a pimp and does a sex show with another girl. that was interesting..

i can't see myself watching this ever again. it makes a good psa for teenagers to not do drugs but its so over dramatic. check out the basketball diaries instead or even better, TRAINSPOTTING.

FUCKED UP RATING: 7 OUT OF 10
OVERALL: 5.5 OUT OF 10